Spring semester is just not the same w/o you
I am doing a scientific study and i need a brief description of the underpants you are wearing
i just taught a 3 year ld how to do a jager bomb, i cant wait to have kids
he left me a note this morning. it said "thank you for letting me touch you"
I made the bartender pinky promise me there was still vodka in my drinks.
This is absurd. I need a man. Or even a moderately-clean hobo will do at this point.
I woke up to my dog puking on my bed. Looks like it was a successful night for us all.
Just say the word and u can be elbow deep in this glorious rack
This is why I love you...
Well its official, I'm into significantly freakier sex than even I thought possible.
I'm adopting to save the world from the moral outrage that would be my offspring
Sorry for pissing on y'all's floor last night
It was 6am and he went immediately for the 69. WTF?? 6am is WAY to early for acrobatics.
He made me tacos after the sex. Best date ever!
he was peeing off the deck shouting "urinals are for pussies" that's how much hurricane.
We had sex in Lake Michigan for an hour Sunday.
Thanks for ruining an entire lake for me. I hate you so much right now.
Randomize
