feel weird hangin out with you now that i've eaten your sister out
He's getting better. i'm using GuitarHero to teach him how to finger me. My clit = the red tab.
what's for breakfast?
Advil and throwup
I kept calling his name while we were having sex cuz i was so proud that i remembered it.
I've grown up since last year. I don't give blow jobs as birthday presents anymore.
I really need to learn how to handle sexual advances from older women
I wish I had your problem
In a strange taxi 3059. Battery dying I'm dying. Bye.
The most humiliating part was that I farted while he was tasing me.
Not only does DQ have s'mores shakes, sonic has a hot dog in a pretzel bun, and Wendy's has a burger in a pretzel bun. Important things are happening.
She tried to sing jingle balls while blowing me
I'm tryna think of an appropriate time to say "when I suck other dicks they seem like training dicks compared to yours" but I really can't think of a good way to say that
I think we might need a safe word for this...
day drinking didnt prepare me for this..
I often worry that if I get famous, people from my past will recognize me and start talking to the media
Nah, we’re just sitting around talking about different kinds of boners
Randomize
