the star wars geek is hitting on me, and is talking about his lightsaber. need back up NOW
I'm just that much of a man that I can watch Ellen and Oprah back to back and still like girls.
and everytime i fart i feel like in your heart, you can hear it
the doormen always congratulate him in spanish as he walks me downstairs in the morning
i feel like my eyelids need a kick stand.
Just waterfalled in the movie theatre... this is the beginning to a good night
At one point I went looking for you and found you handcuffed to a chair. I'm pretty sure you handcuffed yourself. I don't know how you got there.
what are we doing this weekend?
I have enough booze to get us through Armageddon...which basically means that on Sunday we will have to make a trip to the liquor store.
Old men love us. For they have fine taste and disturbing minds.
Handcuffs are allowed in carry on luggage :) just checked
LET US USE OUR GENITALS TO CELEBRATE THIS VICTORY
Did I mention I hooked up with another country star? I think I need some sort of trophy for each time, yah know? Or like a sash and I win a badge or patch for each person. Like a slutty Girl Scout.
My first love was gay too, it's okay.
If we were unicorns we would fly together. Like in a pack. A pack of flying unicorns
how do you say “i know we haven’t hung out in a month, but i gave myself an amazing orgasm to your picture the other day” without coming on too strong
Randomize
