it felt great physically, but AWFUL morally.
Deadliest Catch is NOT foreplay
His internet history had "Disney Porn" on it.
You put a nerf gun to his head and demanded him to take you to taco bell..
Ate pizza for the 3rd time today, can't decide if that's disgusting or an amazing aspect of American culture.
Whats a good hint for stop bitching im gonna give you head
Dude I'm 99% sure I'm witnessing an e-harmony date at panera, prob late 40's, this is better than the movies.
I don't understand why everytime I fuck his bestfriend he seems more interested in me...
Maybe I'll just get really drunk on valentines day and tell him I think his penis is small
The pigeons can smell the fear
Wtf
Bailey. He has a soul patch. Idgaf if he was an NFL player. Nobody with a soul patch is attractive.
I'll get him an axe as a present. So he can break out of his closet. That axe being my penis.
How bad would it be if I wore out the dress we got peed on in. You're the only one who knows.
I forgot that places existed where drinking on Sunday is frowned upon. It's just so unreasonable.
How is your new roommate working out
We are drinking at the laundromat. And will probably have sex later. So...pretty good.
Randomize
