it really sends the message that i like to impregnate mortal women and have them birth fantastic half man-half god infants.
Sometimes, in the course of human events, people get lit on fire.
So, when he came he screamed MORTAL KOMBAT!!!! at the top of his lungs and all of his roomates yelled back FINISH HER!!!!.....yeah kinda akward
I mean I had a leg brace. It would have been irresponsible for me to be on top.
It's sad because pictures are supposed to say a thousand words, and theirs just say 'fat'
You gave the cab driver your pants as collateral while you ran in the house for money.
Don't upload the drink o meter to your google calendar. Somehow binge drinking looks even worse with a time stamp.
Oh god, so much rum. I think I was in a shotgun wedding with a Bacardi promotion girl.
Even her dad came up for the body shots. Wasn't sure what to do so I just laid there and let it happen...
A white limo full of drunken 30 something business people pulls up next to me and asks if they can kidnap me until 1030. If I don't make it back tonight, call someone and tell them I died gloriously
ok it turns out chain mail does not protect against falling down a flight of stairs. please send help.
ARTHUR IS ON FUCKING NETFLIX THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
I'm trimming my pubes right now and the battery was wearing down. So I chose to only trim one side. I cut the right side down and now I look like pubic two-face. Right all trim and near and left like a caveman.
what the hell makes you think you get to decide what your going to wear at our weding!?
Why is it that the asexual in our group is the one that gets laid the most often??
Randomize
