I am drunk raised to the nth degree. The possibility of getting sick is approaching infinity.
Grab the Coors Light. Its time to get NASCAR drunk
you were going around the whole club telling people to smell ur purse
Lost is over, my longest committed relationship is coming to an end.
Dude, this chick, who is smokin by the way, has 4 false teeth on top from a softball accident that she can take out if she wants... Who's getting amazing head tonight? This guy!
I don't know whether to be creeped out by the fact this chick can do that, or jealous because you're getting toothless head.
Just saw a porn entitled "Nad Biter". Redheads are now forever out of the picture.
this is worse than the time i threw up a condom.
We're gonna have screwdrivers in a cab at 4am?
Is that weird?
He's in the hospital yelling at his brother to at least have stuck something "normal" up his ass.
Again?
I feel that my cleavage set an unattainably high bar for 2013.
I just finished packing for spring break, took me 4 minutes. To be fair though I only put my trunks, a pair of underwear, and 50 condoms in my bag.
My hands are stained pink. I look like I fisted a muppet.
Will you fuck me while I eat my burrito though? I'm kind of hungry.
anyone can pick a bar fight and pick up a waitress at a bar, not everyone hangout with two wolves. TWO WOLVES.
ive decided that just saying "yes" when people assume I am something other than Caucasian will highly benefit my love life. last night I was native.
Randomize
