Do u think she knows her nickname is the oompa loompa
And then he asked me why the subtitles were in Arabic. The television was off.
he's having a long distance Facebook-coordinated power hour. the status update has 159 comments ...
Making jello shots drunk, i apologize ahead of time if they are too strong Can't taste anything.
he found cum stains on my sheets and all i could blurt out was "better on the sheets than in me"
You know our reunion in two weeks shall be a drunken bikini clad magical adventure right
He literally chugged a bottle of wine in under 2 minutes. Stood up, said "fuck what ya heard" and stabbed the bottle into their drywall.
So who was trying to make it rain last night in the bathroom? There are pieces of dollar bill everywhere
Letting Freddy Krueger eat me out = HAPPY HALLOWEEN TO ME!!!
i need some magic done to my vagina
He understood my need for pizza was more important than my need for sex. He's the one.
I think that's the first time I had "ass rimming" scroll across my phone at work
EVEN AFTER ALL THAT COMPLAINING... STILL NO PENIS
Can I bother you for a second.
You always bother me but go on.
I would totally suck a dick for some poutine right now
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