Why didn't you tell me that Dad was a registered sex offender?
We were going to tell you eventually, how'd you find out?
Our school resource officer showed us how to use Family Watchdog and pulled up his picture.
The professor just announced to the class that I talked to him in the bar on my birthday.
I don't care if its bassically 3rd world. A country without a drinking age is a country without a drinking age.
You kept tellin the cashier that this order was "To Go" over and over...even tho we were in the drive-thru
I wonder if our vaginas are like "o thank god, no strangers breaking in tonight." Baahhhh sooo bad
Literally I thought my ears were pouring out blood. That high.
Let's get one thing straight; we aren't in a relationship. We fuck and occasionally go to subway.
She pulled a wad of lint out of my bellybutton while she was blowing me. Said she's never seen anything like it. I've never gone soft so fast.
I made out with a guy because he was sitting on my coat...
It's like god made him fantastic at oral to make up for what his mouth does the rest of the time.
WHO THE FUCK TAGS THEMSELVES AT COUNTY JAIL?!?!
Just had a threesome with a hot Turkish guy and an even hotter French lawyer. This what happens when I travel alone. You have only yourself to blame for this.
Are you planning on wandering into construction sites drunk and falling down 6' holes?
probably
Also I found $40 in the women's bathroom at ihop. Karma is finally kicking in!
Let's be real, he was never going to be tall enough
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