you were running down the aisles of wal mart singing 'follow the yellowbrick road'. i'm pretty sure you thought the night shift workers were the munchkins & started crying when they wouldnt help u find the wizard. needless to say u were pretty stoned/wasted
This last weekend single handedly took me off the liver transplant list
Just found out my brother beats off to Lauren Conrad. the Hills will never be the same.
All semester I have been trying to figure out if this kid in front of me is gay. His cell phone just went off with Britney's "Circus". Case closed.
do you wanna get some fucking pussy tonight.....THEN DRESS LIKE IT
I wonder if you can snort coke upside down
Being drunk at the hospital is better than i expected. I got to hide and play in the little kids waiting area. Btw no one is hurt
Breaking up as roommates was a poor life decision. I'm sorry. Thank you for never shitting on the floor.
If a vagina could give out awards, you should be preparing an acceptance speech.
HIS BALLS ARE HEAVEN SENT FROM THE VELVET ANGLES.
Thank god he came over. I had to have some good sex to makeup for all the bad sex I've been having.
I'm honestly just now recovering from saint Patrick's day.
Facebook: “Hey you fucked on a diving board, you should probably should wish him a happy birthday”
5 am booty call not ok. The fact I actually went over definitely not ok. My vag needs to learn some control.
I could hear it slapping against his thighs under the robe!!!!!!!!! You are a lucky girl!
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