Im a photoshop master, i successfully reduced the size of the pupils of all the girls I made out last night with to prove they were not that drunk. So glad the camera goes home with me.
Happy graduation...we are now officially unemployed alcoholics!
of course he's cheating on me, she's 100x prettier and she can do the splits
i just wanna lock my vagina in a safe filled with bandaids and healthy things
Please tell me why 'cock-a-thon' was auto saved in my phone.
He said last night that he'd never had such a great conversation and such a great handjob at the same time.
I would say I'm the man in the relationship but I'm cuddled on the couch eating cake mix and water.
He told me I was 100% better then porn then passed out nto the cake
Ok: all ex-gfs except you from the last 5 years have or are about to have a baby...be on the lookout...
Im part way to drunk.
How are you feeling this morning?
Well, I just found day old puke in my bra, so I've been better.
They need to eat meat, go down on me the first time, every time, and know how to pull my hair. And there's a height requirement for this ride
I can't trust your balls anymore.
I did wake up to a random meat and cheese plate next to my bed, that was a thrill.
I do not recommend playing football on LSD like at all
Randomize
