If I had a sex resume I'd get tons of jobs.
Reason #82 that I need to get laid: my pubes are getting split ends.
it was really awkward..i thought he had two dicks, but later realized it was jsut his roommate
Whatever. I indirectly made you cum overseas. Call it even.
She keeps sending, "show me your elephant trunk."
i now officially have to be stoned in order to look like my passport when i go to a different country
It is 9pm, let the ass parade to the bars begin
New wedding record, my shirt was off by 8pm!!!
Obama's speech on in 9 mins. Me in the shower now. Naked. Make your choice.
I'm bringing the tv in with me.
No! Last time I got hit with a beer bottle
Haha, Tuesday man
His last name was woodcox? That just screams I've got a great penis
If I shaved my pubic hair into a heart for valentine's day how much would you judge me?
Btw I have come to the conclusion that we really need to do it in a bed. Like at least once..
I'm so drunk. Remember me this way.
So I met one of her cousins last night. She recognized me as "the guy that's always in the liquor store", I may have a problem.
Randomize
