they made me velveta mac and cheese and fish. I wanna stay here the rest of my life
So he said if we had sex he'd take me to Build A Bear. My virginity is so worth a trip to build a bear.
You're 20.
IT'S BUILD A BEAR!
I just gift wrapped bread.
She is feeding us popcorn out of her bra
I said we should get a taxi and you were waving down cars, three of which were cops and one of them slowed down and shook his head then kept driving
He didn't think we needed a taxi
Not only have I fallen off the wagon, it ran me over and just kept going...
I found a half-finished mass text from my California weekend that said "things I want to rape: you, things, stuff, and le"
yes and no. im drunk but idk if im "blow marcus" drunk. call in like an hour.
Shit. I'm suppose to call the bank but I'm too high to talk numbers.
I was passed out in a bathroom stall. Of course im going to look like shit
You were throwing cups at people in the basement, yelling at them to get out of your swamp.
Current dream situation- Gordon Ramsey is my Uber driver and he's hauling around a backseat filled with chocolate covered açai berries. I'm good for eternity.
no offense but you looked like shit yesterday
tequila is unforgiving..
Once again I let my vagina make the decisions...that and vodka :(
I kept yelling "BY ORDER OF THE PEAKY FUCKING BLINDERS" in a terrible brummie accent at everyone I saw wearing a flatcap.
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