This is your Morning Wood Report: I have it.
thats the only time ive ever had sloppy firsts
Dude. I tried to convince her to eat poprocks and give me a blowjob. It did not work out well.
Agreed. Everyone should experience a blackout before 3pm in their lifetime.
We should see who can shotgun a beer faster over iPhone FaceTime
So i told him he was the 3rd i have ever slept with and then i found out he had actually slept with 5 other girls besides me. And his reply was well your number one on this hand.
Woke up this morning with a note saying "great sex, see you never". Why can't I meet more women like her?
He literally is quoting that 21 questions song, the 50 cent one. oh my god.
My grandmother cheats at beer pong and has been rubbing her tainted victory in my face for an hour now.
That's like the cock version of a mortal kombat fatality.
I sincerely hope you find your fuck buddy and have a wonderful night of champagne and whores
i am an animal i am literally locking myself in my house and not coming out for a week i don't deserve to be in public
I had to reschedule my trainer meeting so now I'm just here eating hot pockets
As she came, she moaned Roll Tide. I kid you not.
You call it sex. I call it penis conditioning.
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