please come get me his dick is out. i'm sitting on his couch and his dick is out. come now
Clothes are such an inconvenience.
Bible prof is the guy I made out with at the gay bar on the fourth. He doesn't remember.
So I am guessing last night was a success we are all accounted for and only 3 of us have hospital bracelets on
My vag has a bald spot. That is so middle aged. Is this my midlife crisis?
What changed your mind?
Being sober
You know how there are wrinkles in your brain? What if they were filled with potato chips? That's kind of how my head feels now.
There was a reason God said "Let there be titties" on the Fifth Day.
i can't invite random hot hobos into my aunt's house.
I have to date her we need a place to stay for tailgating
Ok despite the fact that both you and I love dick we could have a great marriage
You sat on me. Like I was a toilet. While I was on the toilet. You peed a little.
Idk what's worse.... Yesterday not waking up in my bed or today waking up in the hello kitty gown.
I love how when he said ecstasy pills both of our heads whipped around like a couple of horned owls.
It should be perfectly legal to tase anyone not wearing a mask.
Randomize
