Multitasking record: pooping whilst putting on shoes and cleaning ear with q-tip. All while texting.
Update: fell off toilet, one shoe on, q-tip still in ear. Not a pro.
sleazy september. first one with mono loses.
she's doing key bumps of parmesean cheese
There's still flour in my hair. And I don't even want to know what the neighbors think happened infront of my house.
I woke up with the Dorothy costume at my ankles, both sparkly red shoes on, and clutching ToTo....we're not in Kansas anymore, dude
You burned the hair off your arms. Again.
It grows back stronger each time.
Apparently I was proudly showing him the cup I barfed pizza rolls into
there is a hole burned clean through my text book on forestry law and I saw you walking around with a blowtorch last night. Hope you have $160 on ya...
Is it unethical to trim my bush hair with the scissors from my office?
There's a ton of international students in my suite and I'm just sitting in this chair with no pants on eating frosted flakes
I AM SO HORNY, I AM GOING TO DIE. I NEED SOMEONE TO WISH MY VAGINA A MERRY CHRISTMAS.
I responded with revoking his blow job privileges. Needless to say, he's learned his lesson.
I. Love. Skype. Sex.
I think it's just been too long since actual dick has been inside you that you only THINK you love skype sex
Im drinking a CAN of bud light at the bar. Do you really think I care anymore?
What? No, wine isn't my weakness, I just love it.
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