would you consider him our boss?
technically yes
then technically i slept with our boss
after he passed out we removed everything electronic from his room, stuck in some old books and an ancient typewriter from goodwill. for 20 min. we had him convinced he'd drunk himself backward in time.
Oh my god it just tripped me out that I used to be a baby, I had to tell you.
I have diapers under my sink. trying to convince myself to use them.
I woke up in his bed wearing nothing but my underwear and it was on backwards and my entire body is too sore to move...
Im glad someone is finally more of a drunken slut than I am.
Turns out that my surprise "happy birthday" drop-in for my dad turned into a "my parents like afternoon sex a lot" realization.
Update: we are pushing the start of day drinking back from 9 am to 10 am. Minor delay.
Everything was yummy and fruit flavored and five alive and happymeas.
We poured some Korbel out for our homie Dick Clark.
We turned on "find my friends" and watched her progress. Got concerned when she didn't move for an hour on Adelaide, turned out a booty call was made, then she went back to the bars.
URGENT INPUT I'm at a renesance fair after party and I'm 100% lined up to fuck their sword swallower OR their contortionist. Dont say both - which direction doth I roll?
You're wearing a hospital gown and pearls. Let's reevaluate your life.
Honestly I don't even have room for feelings after that Taco Bell
Is it weird that I was turned on when he told me he had a vasectomy?
I knew you two would hit it off
Theres a handprint of sauce on my fridge, one on my face, and a trail of it leading to my bedroom, and sauce all in my bed, and I have no idea what the fuck i ate.
Randomize
