I told them you could toss a salad like wolfgang puck
He woke me up by trying to shove oreos in my mouth. im ready to go home now
We're playing a drinking game to 'how to train your dragon'. has it really come to this?
They were actually really boring considering how we met them.
howd you meet them?
They got shit-faced and decided to take a train to a city none of them had ever been to. We found them wandering the ghetto, with a bottle of gin and singing Disney songs.
do you think its obvious that we spent all afternoon playing naked body oil twister?
You know its good night when theres makeup smears on the toilet seat
His cuteness will no longer contol my vagina
Heard you had a bad day. I have vodka, chocolate and my dick here ready to put a smile back on your face.
It took 6 cruisers to bust the party last night. Cop asked if the theme was a beach party. I said I would fucking hope so with 8 tons of sand in the garage
And then he said, "let's have sex and I'll send you home with enchiladas."
We had sex and I never took my mets hat off... I feel like Duda knows and approves.
Ya know, one would think a restraining order would keep me from fucking my ex.
Not my lover. I would rather lose all my teeth, and I fucking love my teeth.
We left him in some bushes a few blocks down toward campus. Did he find his way home?
You barfed off the front porch while the elderly neighbors were walking their dog. We had to convince them not to call 911.
Pics or it didn't happen.
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