Goodnight my chunky, little, marshmallow muncher
Passed out watching pirates of caribbean with vodka in hand. Woke up to jenna jameson, with vodka gone.
he's going on about how he's going to treat me right and wants to let himself be in love with me and spend a lot of time together. kids these days. like its not about sex anymore. i'm confused.
who paints a picture of their own dick and sends it to people. i dont know if its borderline crazy or just fucking genius...
We call it lazy sex. We just lay next to each other and help each other masturbate. that way we can both be on bottom.
well... just scaled a wall and entered the bar through the balcony. just making some last minute memories nbd.
Listen man this isn't about soccer. It's about America and day drinking... Your two favorite things now get your ass over here
He threw up in a cup in the limo and when he got out the bouncer told him he couldn't bring drinks in so he gave the glass to that dumb girl we brought with us from c street.
I know, she tried to drink it
Why are there hooting douchebags outside my building? Did a sport happen again?
I made out with an Italian cab driver. Not cool. Help. Good news he will drive us anywhere we want to go as long as you cook food?!?!?! I want to melt into the pavement.
At least is you came to Milwaukee to visit me you'd get the best mind blowing sex of your life and free wifi. Who doesn't want free wifi!
We started a fund for a baby in a wine glass, I think we're pretty responsible.
How weird would it be for me to get 1 hour photos printed at CVS of my partially or all nude?
Send me a picture of our booze closet. I'm homesick.
I just Spray tanned myself while high as fuck its either going to look like a work of art or terrible graffiti
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