There's a "art of the blow job" class in the city. We should go
Baby, I'm all set with that. That would be like trying to teach bruce lee how to kick someone in the head
I want to dip my vagina in sugar. Not only will it be sweet, but it will have a nice sparkle.
just took my ibuprofen with ramen broth, yay college
The best part was that when I woke up, I poked her with my dick to wake her up, and said, "Hi, I'm Alex. Nice to meet you". Shoulda seen the look on her face. Priceless.
I think i accidentally made vodka pancakes
Just had a random flashback of you tickling some guy's nipple with your claw ring, and then him moaning and stripping in the middle of the bar. You give good memories.
fact: I now appreciate my drunken winter self even more. I just found $20 in my winter coat with a note that says keep yourself warm next winter. I am awesome.
Ummmm you know you're drinking vodka out of a Skittles bag, right?
We're high and this subject came up and I'd like a female opinion: if you were a dude, what would you do if a girl tried to give you a foot job?
I'm remembering the time we thought it was a brilliant idea to put koolaid powder in shots of goldschlager
We have a lot of substance abuse to do tomorrow its sleep time
You know what id love more than anything right now? ..a back rub while eating biscuits and gravy
I was in a penguin suit. Dick out. I am confident in the value of my pic.
HIS DICK IS SO AWESOME DUDE. 15/10 SURPRISE
Welp. It's confirmed. There is literally no lube on this entire island. Fuck me. More accurately, don't fuck me.
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