I wanted to google "huge banana" but I'm pretty sure all I'd get is dick pictures.
she quoted hannah montana in her facebook status. i will never be speaking to her in person again.
Did the game of beer pong go wrong before or after the cops and fire department showed up?
Ok, Jen and I are going out tonight and getting rowdy. I think you and Steph need to come. I understand if you can't, but not going out means you're automatically obligated to post bail. If necessary.
I think we should get high on adderall and nair each other again for New years.
in case you were wondering, even a BJ under a blanket on the back of a bus only lifts a 14-hour bus ride to borderline tolerable.
My bed smells like stale sex...I want it to smell like fresh sex, I miss you.
All I've done this weekend is cum and drink. I think it's safe to say I'm dehydrated.
Because making bad decisions is what makes our house great and I don't plan on changing that anytime soon.
I need dunkaroos back in my life.
Why is everyone judging me for telling the cat a bedtime story?
You said "I'm not gonna waste my last condom on you" last night.
Was I trying to make a threesome happen again?!
Yep
I need to stop doing that, Im gonna get punched in the face
you said you were going to the bathroom. we found you an hour later laying in the backyard clutching a bottle of vodka while singing the beatles and crying
Dude, I'm pretty sure I just drank iced tea last night and yet I'm still hungover. What the fuck is my body anymore ?
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