sitting in class between the roommates of the two girls i fucked over break. this feels like a bad version of wife swap
Just threw up in a trash can by the ATM. Then pulled out money for weed.
Seriously. My exes act like they own shares of my vagina.
Well, in their defense, they have invested a lot of time and money
he just told me he'd rather go to the pirates game. i know it was desperate but i said id give him roadhead if he let me come along.
So apparently I shook her hand very polite, said weiner and walked away
I will also be strapping forties to the puppies.
She was like the Rudy of blow jobs... SO much effort into it
Found your pants. They were stuffed in the tank of the toilet.
I think my hand is broken. But his nose definitely is
You're more than welcome to join us! There's red velvet cake and apparently my pants are open for business I didn't consent to this
But seriously I don't know. I haven't seen her since I gave her back her 3 blind mice stick, and she just started hitting everybody with it.
Who put the meatball sub on my door handle?
It's a sexual break up. We maintain a friendship and leave any and all sexual attraction out. It's not hard, having a baby is harder than that.
Also my roomates are going to be gone till sunday. Make correct decision here
Quit calling your parents your roomates
He agreed to matching Christmas pajamas today, no guy does that for a girl he’s not seriously considering marrying.
Randomize
