White coat. Heels.
Happy hour is for amateurs. Been drunk since 1230. Fell asleep in a disney viewing of UP. Went to the roosevelt and drank more. Now im stumbling around the grove.
never have phone sex with a hardcore republican during this health care crisis . just dont.
the doormen always congratulate him in spanish as he walks me downstairs in the morning
and she just brought her bike into the shower with her
Dude, I fucked her last night with nothing but my bandana on. Like straight Indian chief style.
Oh god I may vomit into the teacup of debauchery.
Ive seen his manscaping faults. Given the choice I'd rather dry hump a cactus
i officially have over $300 in my bank account. that's a year's worth of chipotle.
Just saw a woman in bootie shorts and a winter coat at the library. God. Bless. Prostitutes.
I really shouldn't be this use to hearing "YOURE THAT GIRL?!?!"
You told your family you're bi over the phone?!
We were talking about exes and it just came out....and so did I.
Found a trail of Taco Bell hot sauce packets through the garage to our back door and cheese in my bra. I'll say it was a successful Sunday Funday.
Getting on a bus with a beer pong table. I am proof we can make this campus fun.
I climbed to the top of a stripper pole and touched the ceiling. Accomplishment?
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