no its okay don't call 911, she's alive. just stopped by her house and banged on her door. she said she turned her phone off because she "had to be alone with her shame and embarassment". typical.
we have a love-hate relationship...we love having sex but hate waking up next to eachother
your cum blends into my yellow sheets :/
He literally had no idea who I was, so he made me turn around 360 degrees and when he saw my ass, he blurted out my first AND last name.
his pokemon pajamas? the fact that he was proud of the stretchmarks on his arms? or finding out he has a daughter that went to high school with us? ...you tell me what was the dealbreaker
There are 9 condoms on my bed either i met the greatest girl ever last night or something horrible has happened.
Somebodaw call 311 postw fire bunso on vietena floorwnkd
Slipping me an edible before my ochem final was not your brightest idea. Looks like I'm switching to business.
Well some days you just have to get blackout drunk and try to speak Spanish to French Canadian strangers
Idk. Each time I ask him about double teaming a woman with Dennis Rodman he just giggles. We will never know what to believe.
you stumbled up the stairs in your heels, pulled 23 one-dollar bills out of your bra and then went and puked in the toilet. didnt say a single thing to me the whole time
I think this bruise on my arm is actually an impression of your face
Okay but look at his jawline. I NEED TO RIDE IT.
So the door man at the local dispensary started giving me motivational talks about my beard...
i got drunk and started dancing with the plant because you were out of town
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