She said I was really immature but whatever...oh by the way we just bought a toilet and turned it into a beer bong so come over
i have this theory that all the people in the world who dont like mayonnaise had very bad encounter with jizz once
If i come home from court on friday.. i'm definitely doing something illegal.
I also would have accepted most things ending in "job", erotic favors, and food.
I dunno. Last time I went there I had got sexually propositioned by a Belgian prince.
JUST MADE A FLAMING SLED. MIGHT HAVE 3RD DEGREE BURNS.
Imma do me. And by that, I mean I'm going to walk across campus still drunk at 9am on a Tuesday.
I hooked up with Spider-Man on the hood of Santas car. I kept saying that he could shoot his web at me. Also I found Waldo. Overall good night.
I never thought my selfie stick would come in handy for nudes.
dude, she has my telletubby sweats and my good sweatshirt hostage, I can't risk their safety with a breakup
For some reason she gave me a handjob. It was all very confusing
You just kept looking down at your tits and screaming "I LOVE YOU TWO!!!"
If a guy makes a dick joke within 24 hrs of matching am I just setting myself up for disaster if I say yes to a date lol
He asked the waiter, at 6:40 am, drunk, if they served alcohol. After he said no, he's like 'well, I guess we can eat then.'
Access to a Target is paramount to my general happiness and self-worth.
Randomize
