First date. He's wearing a tuxedo shirt and keeps asking me about our future children. Escape plan #3 is now in action...
I don't know if I have the sustained energy level for partying hard
Not a choice. You are mistaking my comments as options. My statements are facts. This is what is happening.
Good. I hope they all got E.Coli from snorting coke off of some homeless prick's asshole.
Going to the u of w I constantly have that moment of, oh hey I felt you up at that rave at folk fest that one time. Winnipeg is too small.
I left my bra and a book at his place. He's a hot Scandinavian who is into physics and computers - had to step up my game.
What did he say?
NOTHING. GODDAMN HIM AND HIS MAGICAL PENIS!
Yeah. Got a major ego boost when she said she felt like she had just fucked King Arthur. Buying some donuts later to celebrate with, wanna join?
We just won 1800 at the casino and are going to the strip club. Who gives a fuck if it's 5pm
Is there some sort of line being crossed when your shower activities start to involve jimmy johns?
And now let us go forth, and be garbage people in public.
Isn't that our default mode?
Self reach around competition is what the Olympics has been missing all along. A true test of athleticism.
I'm a stupid stupid woman who is totally going to rock this holiday season dick drunk on that Ginger
And with one simple text you can separate the men from the boys...."it's that time of the month."
i was making a gravity bong in my room and my dad walked in. he helped me finish. i love being home for the holidays.
Bud light made chelada as a breakfast for those of us with class at 8 am
Randomize