his prince albert piercing just severely cut the roof of my mouth. can you pick me up at the hospital if he drops me off?
i dont know whats so great about being respectable.
i just used shampoo as lube. why? because i'm worth it.
Had a drag queen carry me to the car. So I'm told...
I'm basically a mama hen. I keep them warm and let them wonder around the house. not to mention, I keep eye on them just in case the falcons around the house try to snatch them away.
I don't even know what to say right now
He's way too stoned. I took him to el bra and he's laying on the table, not sure what to do with him
He deadlifted me and I came just a little at the apex
Fuckin' raining men in my bedroom while I'm trying to drunk eat a rather large portion of pasta. Like shoo I already picked who I'm sleeping with. Pasta wins.
Suffice to say, I think if people ask about your bruises, and you look them right in the eye, and say "they're from fucking...", people would be like, "respect."
He said it only counts if it ends up on the internet
I just got CPR certified, don't make me need these skills so soon
Just took an Adderall with Pedialyte so I think that's a valid answer to "how are you doing"
I always feel bad for the sober driver... Never been me but I feel bad... empathetic AF
he told me I was hypnotizing him with my mouth so I guess I do give good head
I just snorted sandwich everywhere.
I hope it smells nice :)
IT DOESN'T BECAUSE I HAVE MEAT COMING OUT OF MY NOSE, DAMNIT.
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