I just woke up to my FedEx of contacts I've been waiting for for about a week and my hungover ass went to the bathroom and used beer instead of contact solution.
So Jesus turned water into wine. So what? I once turned a whole student loan into natty light. Your move holy man.
I have one brief flash of having his dick in my hand. that's all I remember.
Dude, a dry wedding reception should nullify the vows, because really, without the booze, you might as well be 5 years old again and playing dress-up
My hand is eating my burrito and not saving any for my mouth. TRIPPPPPPPPPPPPPPINN!
so when he was about to cum, he screamed his mother's name and continued to pray for forgiveness. wtf
My little brother got home at 4am too, we drunk ate together. It was a kodak moment.
No its cool I don't even have to do anything he is rapping to one of the strippers. He is punishing himself enough.
i feel like i got punched in the cervix. he's a little different in bed than i thought he would be..
Dude if it is ever said "everybody get inside the police helicopter just showed up.". That means it was a successful party.
I drew a nude short fat middle aged woman today and liked it
It was honestly one of my favorite days in art class except for the 20 min she faced me and kept looking at me and we made eye contact
Peanut butter fills the cracks of my heart
There is a fake eye lash glued to one of my balls.
In the middle of pounding my asshole he stopped and said, "do you want to get breakfast after this?"
I turn into such a nice and loving person when I take Vicodin
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