my grandma just put on bowling shoes, to play wii bowling.
I went to go pee and found a strand of your hair wrapped around my penis.
It was so delicious I was introducing it to people. Guy from my psych class was like "This is my girlfriend, Erica," and I was like, "This is my milkshake, Oreo."
How can it be called memorial day weekend....I don't even remember this weekend
I just had sex in a cardigan. Made me feel old. Smarter somehow, but old.
She's echoing.. Her head must be in the toilet..
He kept telling me that something was trying to enter this dimension from another universe through his spine...
Ahh you know it's going to be a long day when you mistake a beer for a sprite at 10:30 in the morning while babysitting
When Vanessa's kindergarten teacher called me in because she was caught with her hand down some boys pants in the bathroom, I knew you babysat last week.
I offered to lick your vagina while wearing a suit... Pretty sure chivalry is well alive.
God this is like a meg Ryan movie without the restaurant orgasms
So many weird people in this class. I can practically taste their unwanted virginities. They taste bad.
Just want to apologize again for asking to spot your form in the shower.
Parade of Dicks...that's what I'm calling 2017
and eventually we just all took our pants off
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