real busy. everything is packed. thats why we ended up at the strip club
During sex he started singing that song in Forgetting Sarah Marshall--"Inside of You"--by Russell Brand
He never called back after I emailed him my booty call contract.
We had to be out of the dorms at 730. Meeting started at 8. I woke up at 948. Drunk and covered in glitter.
if you google earth my address you can see me getting out of my car. finally my moment of being famous
I sharted in my sleep... I didnt even think that was possible.
i totally fed the cab driver fruit salad with my hands while he was driving
I swear she hasnt shaved since the last time we hooked up 5 months ago
Just found a g string in our driveway, wtf happened this weekend?
It's all a blur. I just remember holding some strangers baby
Yah. Thai people are way too trusting
I ate mushroom chocolates & went to the botanical gardens for Christmas. HAPPY FUCKING HOLIDAYS
She started crying because the Rugrats grew up
I just upped my southern womanhood. Taking whiskey and Kleenex pocket packs to the funeral.
I'll get the most aesthetic strap on, you'll see
You're like a care bear with a big cock & a sexual prowess that would put the mighty Thor to shame.
Randomize
