look no pants
time to smoke my breakfast
I mean, it really isn't YOUR car until you have sex in it.
So the guy sitting next to me is watching dungeons and dragons on youtube. I didnt realize you could get more pathetic than actually playing the game.
FOUR LOKO IS YES. SUNDAY MORNING DRUNK IS YES.
3 girls crying in the bathroom at the bar. Its like a Christmas song
She said, and I quote "how do you run with something that big between your legs".
Carrying your underwear around in your purse on Sunday morning is its own religious experience
Woke up naked next to Alex and he was braiding my hair and then commented on how healthy my hair was. I don't even know anymore..
also I woke up naked and covered in water but nobody can explain that part.
what a fun peer-pressure-filled weekend
I woke up with the gnarliest cold/hangover combo
Thats what u get when u have butt ass naked rooftop sex at night in december
Worth it.
I don't WANT a sex disease! Especially one assigned to me by my supervisor..
I am NOT pregnant
My barren womb can FUCK WHOEVER I want
It was terrible. I am sore from head to toe, neither of us got off, and we were at it for an hour and a half, I faked having a heart episode so we could stop. It worked.
Randomize
