was i over the top when i said that i wished they made v-neck pants to her?
i love my job...i have craft hour at my desk w twizzlers
can u grab me a application
I wish life was like dora the explorer where dancing pigs appear out of nowhere to solve your problems for you
the snow is so cold on my vagina.
why do you have snow on your vagina?
vodka and heels.
He panicked, you ducked and I was coming off a 3 day coke binge. It was no one's shining moment.
It was a sobriety test blowjob. If he could get it up, he could get me home.
Last time I get high to write a paper the night before it's due. "Tiny Wings and sexuality" is not an acceptable topic to for a paper. Class in 30 minutes. I'm fucked...
When i say that im working late and also have a paper to write before 9am tomorrow all i want u to respond is saying that ur gunna come over and sexually distract me from my responsibilities. Not a fucking frowny face.
Sorry. Im on my way.
I'm watching intervention which is getting me psyched for your birthday. Is that wrong?
You kept trying to get the girl i brought home to hook up with you by enticing her with 12 baconnators you brought home
You can't be friends with my side piece. Conflict of interest.
That amount of times your family has seen my boobs is getting ridiculous.
That broad from the bar put her name in my phone as "The girl I'm going to marry in 10 years".
"Being an adult" and "being happy" are two circles that do not overlap in my Venn diagram of life.
Is it appropriate to be taking shots at 11 on sunday?
Absolutely same thing as church only different
Randomize
