my clit piercing makes the metal detector go off
yeah. you were just sitting there watching transformers, caressing your toaster.
we convinced you the moon was a planet...again
You looked cold, so i decided to make you a blanket out of sticky notes.
Not till Sunday. I'm going to sleep in my car. And I know. This place is insane. Blood on the stAirs 5 dollar slices of pizza. A girl on our floor had a stroke.
Postcard from jail please. Reserving a spot on my fridge.
We didn't even make it to the door before they came out saying we weren't allowed in because of last time..
God and karma are having a fucking field day with my body today.
in other news i'm homewrecking via instagram
DONT LET HIM GET NAKED. JUST SAY NO
First roommate to find me and dance with me will live. Battle Royale.
It's a drunk scavenger hunt.
Everything on the list counts for double points if done naked.
You know what would make the espn body photos even better? If anyone knew who any of those fucking athletes were. That, and maybe not feature Gary Player.
carb up bitch. we're drinking with football players.
I just realized I'm having shark week, during shark week.
Randomize
