Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(570): View more from Pennsylvania

I just single handedly caused ferngully by printing the wrong 900 page document

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(253): View more from Washington

That's what happens when you park you car under a perfectly good balchony I can puke off of

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(763): View more from Minnesota

using smirnoff bottles as a pillow actually isnt as uncomfortable as you would think

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(239): View more from Florida

I'm sorry the first time we hungout you had to witness me throw up in the ocean then army crawl to shore.

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(870): View more from Arkansas

To celebrate your birthday last night, I got drunk and sang drift away in buffalo wild wings. Happy birthday. The entire bar sang the chorus with me. It was magical.

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(605): View more from South Dakota

captain cockblock got me again last night so i put a squirrel in his room and jamed the door shut

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(813): View more from Florida

Next Halloween I want us to dress up as jockeys, get drunk, and ride a carousel all night until we throw up or declare a winner

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(902): View more from Pr Edwrd Is, Nva Sctia

I need to stop getting so drunk at bowling

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(206): View more from Washington

So were driving two hours to go to a club and Charles packed me a sippy cup full of tequila. He thinks of everything!

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