Strip flip cup NEVER equals good idea
remeber the saying "bad choices make good memories" dude our bad choices dont even make memories.
After New Year's Eve I will be hibernating my life away. Only wake me up for skiing, schnapps, and sex. In that order.
He's trying to impress me with how much money he makes. How does he know me so well?
We legit stopped the the game so that Jamie and I could throw up in the bushes, and then continue to play intramurals... this is what my life is coming to1
I have a new game. It's called "how weird can you act before a guy won't fuck you". I've deducted most guys are willing even if you're batshit insane.
Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face.
Ew. After that you just pretty much proved that your vagina is the reason why my vagina needs two toilet seat covers when peeing in public restrooms
we def had a heart to heart that turned into a BJ last night
the other day i was so high i found pages and pages of pictures of HD hamburgers and patriotic music. bong rips for merica.
Starting the day with sex, coffee and productivity are what the founding fathers intended
I got back and Katie was asleep holding a burrito. I woke her up and she ate it and passed back out.
Taking care of a girl who just peed on my floor so tonight is not a good night for sex
Okay so it turns out that my bf keeps a log of every time I sleep-fart. It's dated back to 2013.
Update: his apartment is apparently in the campus Christian community center. The fact that I fucked him on the couch in the lobby is officially my crowning life achievement.
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