bahahahaha i would laugh soo hard if someone did this for me hahahaha this guy would become my best friend
Don't know whats worst me sharding on her a bit or her believing me when i told her she did it...
Well we ran into the cornfields when the cops got there. We'd been hiding in there for 45 mins when he asks me "So this wasn't exactly how I'd planned this but I thought I'd ask. How do you feel about oral sex?"
she is the female version of PC from the mac and pc commercials..i'll still hit tho
the can pyramid on my head actually reached a decent height before I moved.
He sent me a picture of his dick with a cowboy hat on it.
I'm not afraid to fist fight your child if I feel he is standing in between me and some tacos.
The only thing that was weird was that it WASN'T weird when she got out of the shower and saw me blowing him.
I like how he had to correct himself in stating that I was the fat one in the threesome.
Honestly I miss having a gay roommate. His female friends' implicit trust in him would carry over to me even though they knew Im straight. Best unintentional wingman ever.
How much do you charge for your Funyun and beer delivery service?
This is NOT the time to take our hits and go to Disney. Let me repeat that. NOT THE TIME FOR DISNEY ON ACID
Just yelled out loud for someone to buy me a drink, 30 seconds later random guy on grindr asks what I'm drinking.
There's a 98% chance your drink will taste like rohypnol
so third time im replacing the batteries on my vibrator in 2 months #sosingle....on another note though, black beauty is raring to go
He's a snuggler. Every time I attempt to make a move to find my bra he reigns me in. Needless to say i could be here a while.
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