the teacher just ate a hash brownie and passed out on the bus best field trip 2010'
Two people in the coffee shop I'm at are on a date and talking about how acid has affected them and the girl just mentioned meth. Fuck studying, this just got interesting.
I wish pancakes were everywhere. Just pancakes. I want lilies at my wedding. No dress. Just priest. Just lilies.
by "whatever happens, happens" i meant "we are totally hooking up again on tuesday." i thought that was obvious.
We should give each other good-luck-on-your-finals head in the morning.
Lets play a game called: how out of it are you today? Let me know if you can beat driving on the wrong side of the road twice and walking up two extra flights of stairs just because you weren't paying attention to what floor you are on....
Had a grope session with a girl who looked like my Mom and had the same name as her as well. I think therapy is in order.
Ill go to bed but tamed sharks isnt so much of a bad idea. Not for riding
I'm bored enough im considering taking up his offer to turn me straight just to kill time until the lasagna is out of the oven
Wouldn't life be so much easier if you could just walk up to attractive men and say, "Let me bear your children" and it wouldn't be creepy?
Or possibly end in a restraining order?
Its a holy bong. We had to bless the holy bong water.
Conversations really do change when your social worker had your dick in her mouth the other night.
Who wants to play the "pick up your shit from our floor because you're not paying rent or dating either of us" game?
I’m going to give his broken heart CPR with my vagina
i hooked up with all four beatles on halloween get on my level
Randomize
