I just hope my dad was drunk enough to not remember the whole convo we had about anal.
It was like my butthole was peeing. Felt comforting yet not fulfilling.
I went out in the middle of the night to smoke my weed.. Didn't realize my dad was sitting on the patio doing the exact same thing..
Just saw some guy puking out of the dorm window, its for sure monday
she gave me her number. found out it was already stored in my phone as "bathroom blowjob"
Saw a guy throw up on himself while walking, drinking, and singing all at the same time. Hope your night is going better than his :)
Just hook me up with your dad already stop being selfish
Well at one point he got ahold of my archery gear.. And I. Shit. You. Not. Sarah took an arrow to the knee.
the worst part was waking up this morning to his skrillex ringtone.....when was it ever okay for friends to let other friends go home WITH GUYS LIKE THAT!?
Just got gas in my car for the first time while high. Went better than expected.
If our text convos ever saw the light of day lives would be in tatters
I'm hoping my engineering degree will pay off when I invent porn watching in the shower
I think we r still a few steps from ex sex. In fact, that's never going to happen. I'm just saying on the seething-chemical-fire-of-emotional-distress-to-post -relationship-intercourse scale, I'm closer to fucking than throttling. Progress is fun.
Probably not. Getting pulled over and puking my guts out on the side of the road in front of the cop and him making fun of me, was not my finest moment. Plus I lost my debit card.
But you''re still having sex with him. And a hobo convinced you to.
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