What kind of soap washes out shame, bad decisions, and whiskey?
Irish Spring?
look up what dreaming that you're in a lesbian relationship with a manatee means.
I dont know how to say this. But the hottest girl where im at has one arm.
he found cum stains on my sheets and all i could blurt out was "better on the sheets than in me"
I was standing when I hit it. I barely made it to the couch before the walls started turning into people.
We blazed in her bathtub. All 5 of us. Not easy bro
The nurse who handed me my discharge papers underlined and highlighted do not consume alcohol while on my painkiller its like she knows me.
She has puke on the back of her shirt not quite sure how the hell she did that
I think I won over his best friend. He was staring at my boobs all night.
He had really great hair, but he told me he's been in a psych ward three times. I mean I know I'm a psych major, but that's too much.
After we got done he told me to hold his penis because it helps him fall asleep
Just saw a government minister puke and rally.
Do you remember whose house we're in?
Earlier today I was eating cookie dough from a tube, now I'm laying naked next to a hot guy watching Pawn Stars in between orgasms. You really can have it all.
He radiates elegant sexual dominance. I bet even his balls have pinstripes.
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