I totally just used John Mayer's lyrics to get laid.
I love how girls just decide that guys who don't like them must be gay
I do the same thing. If a girl doesn't like me...I am like, "i must be gay"
So the next morning, she had to tell her kids we were moving furniture around all night.
I hope to God 2011 is the year I stop loving tequila.
Aside from the fact that there's a penis in my mouth, that's a pretty good picture of me
explaining to a nurse how i all most cut my finger off playing beer pong, she def just hand me a AA booklet.
Sorry the STD update turned into an attempt at a bootycall, but at least we both know we're clean now
He may only be 25% black, but after that sexual experience I am 100% never going back.
I fucked him on my yoga mat. Then we wake and baked and ate granola. So yes, you could say I found my center.
I think I fell asleep on the dance floor at one point...but played it off cool and acted like I just did the robot.
Last night I had a sex dream about Trudeau, he hasn't even been prime minister for 24 hours
Just told my roommate about "analvice" and she is horrified and the Sound of Music is ruined.
I want your cock. I also want to cuddle you and tell you how amazing you are, because you know balance.
I don't get a "my roommate is fucking you" discount?!
It wasn't intentional or anything but I've now had sex with all of your siblings. How's college going?
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