when im bored during the day i often think, what do people who dont get high do with their day.. i came to the conlcusion that everyone must be getting high
I'm eating oreos and watching porn. This is your fault.
I just told my parents that Capt'n Crunch does weird things to my mouth... my dad just stared at me
basically theres shrimp everywhere. splattered on the walls, in the carpet, its bad. ohh theyre never gonna get the smell out.
Side note, we are 25 fighting over our sophmore year RAs Drunk facebook attention
I'm sorry. I know you didn't expect me to be arm deep in vagina when you walked through the door.
They kept trying to slap each other but they were poring beer onto their hands first referring to it as their baby powder
No i'm not calming down the girl at white castle did not need to see the picture of my dick on your phone.
Who's nuvaring is under my pillow?
Is this helping you get pumped up or am I going to have to send you more dick pics?
I shame-fucked to Hotel California, don't tell me about priorities.
I feel like my sexual preferences are just another sign that I am a 75 year old drag queen in a 29 year old woman's body.
I found more straws in my beard this morning. Please stop doing that.
I came on her face and asked if she wanted fries with that. Currently driving to McDonald's.
He just told me I was beautiful, whilst I peed into a cup. If this isn't love I don't know what is.
Randomize
