Hi, this is ****, we hooked up a few weeks ago. I was wondering, do you have any STDs?
If we keep treating our bodies like amusement parks we have another 10 years left at best.
Katy Perry is on a Proactiv commercial. That "I kissed a girl" shit is so much less hot now.
So somehow I got from NYC to a suburban town in the middle of Jersey. At 4am. Thank god there are trains that can rectify my mistakes...
Have introduced beer-pong to my work's Tuesday lunches.
You act like this is the first time I literally thought I was invisible.
I only keep her as my best friend so she wont hook up with my ex.
I don't have any money, so I'm just gonna press my boobs against him for his birthday.
after the shots you kept on yelling "this is for the dreamers"
Shit ive learned: when going out to a party, always wear a bathing suit underneath just in case theres a pool with a roof next to it
Look, as flattering as it is, I'm getting a little tired of being everyone's go-to girl for a threesome.
I just got a free round of shots. Don't you DARE fuckin tell me that A-cup boobs can't get you good things.
We should probably start extreme couponing for the morning after pill.
I'm drunk and he's still weird.
Somehow I went from sitting in a car upside down to waking up in the grass surounded by paramedics. It was a great night.
Randomize
