That girl would be great looking if she lost 1000 pounds and cut off her head.
So he asked me last night if I would cheer him on while he masturbated...
I mean we're not committed. He's my first choice, sort of like miller lite. When I'm at the bar I'm going to order one, but if they don't maybe I'll go for a bud or blue moon. I'm certainly not going to stop drinking
You found Muppets From Space a little too intense, so you just sorta sat on the ground and stared at the wall plug for an hour and a half.
What's the wine called that we really like and we usually drink it with xanax?
we can't get the sharpie off the toilet seat from where you pressed your forearm with THUG LIFE written on it while you puked until 3 last night
This is literally engraved into my seat "Need crack?" And then there's a number. This isn't real.
she comes in perfect pitch. hook up with more singers.
He was making a joke about signing my name on this piece of paper. He has a whole bucket filled with names on pieces of paper. I think thats how he keeps count.
One day soon I'll learn the difference between a good high and way too high. Today is not the day.
Dude I pissed in her little brother's closet and when I tried to flush the doorknob her parents came out and saw me standing there naked, no more ambien for me
He has a penis. Therefore, he counts.
i out mim tonsoeep
i'm not sure what you are doing right now, but i know that i don't like it. whatever you are doing. just stop. come here so we can fuck
You made me promise I wouldnt let you play "fuck fuck goose" with a 40 year old ever again.
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