i just saw a midget buying condoms and graham crackers. i wonder which was the impluse buy.
i told him he had the best dick i've ever seen. then supposedly i kept repeating "peter piper picked the perfect penis"
Exactly. I don't do penetration on the first date. Blowjobs however are perfectly acceptable.
I encourage the greeting beej. It determines if the dick is worth keeping around.
make sure to take notes today. there is a guy in a wheelchair who might be getting a DUI from a cop on horseback. I'm gonna see this through.
I hit on her. So did Sarah. Neither of us got anywhere. I swear she's asexual. Like Switzerland.
I HAVEN'T FUCKED ANYONE IN FOREVER AND A HALF I DON'T DESERVE TO BE A TRASHY BLONDE
So maybe putting the blacklight above the futon wasn't the best idea...
They should just send me home - I'm literally doing nothing but watching porn and listening to pandora.
is it weird to think that girls born in '96 are now legal?
Looks like I've become the Walter White of my PhD cohort.
i dont get why youre mad at me. i promised you he looked like jim morrison and you failed to ask me like which era
Why isn't there a super hero that comes to the aide of really high kids when they kill their car battery?
I just rolled a blunt at my desk. Happy early Friday!
On the shuttle bus from the Casino the driver refused to take us to the strip club so you said "let me off this bus or ill puke on you".
I want to see a guy holding a pizza and a bottle of scotch and a box of magnums. I'm a simple woman.
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