I fucked **** last night, don't tell mike
this is mike. we're done.
so... another position just opened up(704) Oh really?(704) Is it John's?(704) Or did you find a new way to take a penis?
I saved him in my fone as special pumba. he was just pumba but then he found me drugs
When she sits down, she uses her fat rolls like an arm rest.
i opened her purse and found 4 bottles of vodka tampons and an unopened box of birth control...
Ya know, I lied. I wouldn't mess with him. Not because of the crazy/rehab issues... but because he wears tank-tops.
My meds have diminished my sex drive, this must be what regular women feel like
...Just between you and me I just did Olympic grade ribbon dancing with toilet paper in the bar bathroom.
Would you get mad if I held a "how many dick pics can you get in one night" competition with my friend?
I feel like our relationship should have moved on from you constantly asking if I'm gay
Then that means he's outwardly conservative. Inwardly he's a total gay horndog. He's like a spy that can ruin conservative plans.
I want to change all my life goals to that.
Saved a second guy who was crying/on the verge of wigging out. Just call me the drug whisperer.
Yeah started playing at the wedding last night, when the line. "Ludacris fills cups like DD" he starts pointing at my tits right in front of his grandparents.
i just found my fake in the snow. LIFE IS AWESOME
What are you bringing to class tomorrow?
sorrow
Randomize
