Nah got too drunk to function...probably could have dragged something home over my shoulder if the cops didn't roll
I was at the bar last night dancing, puking in a trash can, and ordering another drink all at the same time. Have I lost my dignity?
haha no as long as you did hook up with anybody after that.
... oops
So pretty much, I was trying to piece last night together and remembered a point where I was pointing to you heart then touching your face. I'm not sure that I ever translated that to "I like your personality better than your looks" but that's what I meant
I'm not working tomorrow. need to take advantage of the last opportunity for weeks of morning sex.
i'm using a wine bottle as a spitter. how classy is that.
So I drew a giant robot attacking a city on the chem test. My TA colored in the fire on the burning building
I'm crossing my legs while pooping. Taking a shit has never looked so proper.
He was dressed as ron burgundy and his pickup line was "dont worry, i wont make you jump in a bear pit."
I'm still pretty drunk right now, but when this hangover hits me, I'm going to be super pissed. It's a preemptive never drinking again.
Next time someone asks you what your spirit animal is do you really want to answer the iowa state fair butter cow?
I've got enough liquor to do one of two things on Friday: 1.) Drink myself into a coma or 2.) lay in bed a drunk and cry lonely mess. Happy Valentines Day.
Idk how I even got accepted into college because literally the only things my brain ever thinks about are YouTube videos of baby animals and sex.
but like who hasn’t gotten fingered at the state fair?
I'm not just straddling the line between love and hate, I'm dry humping the shit out of it
These freshmen are fun! The redhead wants to practice her blowjob skills with me and let me rate different moves!
Randomize
