he spent the whole night trying to convince me into a2m. i won't even use the pb til i clean the jelly knife. i love him but it's not going to happen.
I bought canned wine on a clearance aisle at the liquor store... I feel like I'm living in an episode of It's Always Sunny.
It was going well until he told me about the 7k he made in college to be in a gay porn
The problem with never associating with your roommate is that you never know if they're dead in their room with the door closed or just gone for the weekend...I sprayed some febreeze just in case.
I was desperately holding on to my sandwich while we had sex.
You have to understand, he didn't so much come out of the closet as he backflipped out of it with an accompanying marching band.
You BETTER NOT STEAL MY MOTHERFUCKING SQUIRREL
He stole all of his parent's vodka WHILE they were in the room, and then opened the window and snuck out. I was watching from my truck
Go for it! You're young. Have fun. Be somebody's expensive hobby like Anastasia Steele.
It's like some sort of initiation to finger one of them... so I did it. And got high fived afterwards like a dozen times.
Those were right hand only?
Good new is, my parents are alive. Better news they will be in the hospital all weekend. Best news is im having a house party. All weekend.
random boy in my bed. last night wasnt a dream. fuck.
I threw up in 4 different Starbucks across the city before 9 am.
youll appreciate my drinking habit one day...
He’s perfect! He listens to Genesis during sex and has a VW bus!
You really are from the panhandle, aren’t you?
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