I hope you never procreate. Philly is already the ugliest city in the country.
i'm home, then i'll come over
ightttt gangstaaaaaaaaaaaa
nvm.
I wasn't on board with that statement until "home made dinosaurs"
the only thing i can think of after seeing avatar is "when are they gonna make avatar porn?"
did i have both of my shoes on when the bouncer threw us out last night?
i threw up on the table at the pizza place and peed in her room mates closet. i wouldnt invite me back either
Check Facebook. Random dude tagged us in photos from last night dancing at Denny's while eating a sampler platter. 1. How does he have our names, and 2. You said we ate at Tbell.
I have the coolest burn here. Everyone is taking my picture. I'm like a celebrity of the burn victims.
In the mean time, I'll continue to kick ass at running and become a successful stripper while he might hook up with one average looking girl he met at a club. I so win.
I'm sorry I keep having sex wth your friends. I'm done, for real. Unless cole is interested. Other than that, I'm done.
How many more times can I say I need to get laid before you kill me?
Sooo, my mother is snoring, my ex is sexting me, the guy I'm having an affair with is sending me dick pics, and all I want to do is sleep!
it was all good until mid make out when he announced 'i just came'. ...he wasn't joking.
It smells like graded cheese and febreze in the family room what the hell have you been up to???
I don't want them thinking I'm like, "Mm, yeah, kitchenware in my ass please."
Randomize
