Hey, do you have a beer bong you could drop off at my little brother's place?
Without porn, I would have few hobbies.
I'm pretty sure "Like A Prayer" will forever remind me of drunk nights & pants down around the ankles
somehow you got everyone naked by playing strip rock paper scissors.
He set 8 alarms to make sure I took my birth control on time..
My roomate asked me why she found condoms in the pringles container. I don't know what to tell her
I'll make a Jello mold of your face so everyone can get drunk off your face
As soon as they started using chocolate milk as a chaser for captain Morgan, I thought l it'd be best to leave.
I feel like I should be doing a victory lap around my house to the rocky music, or zapping and smiting people with my mystic wizard powers
So this tall girl jumped in our cab and I was like hey I have pics of u on my phone. It wasn't creepy at all
Oh please not the Easy Cheese again. That was weird.
You shall now refer to my vagina as patty and patty only
What a better way to celebrate that I'm single by becoming a stripper and making $1000 in one night
Sundays were made for eating Ramen pantless in bed.
I just put together something from IKEA so that’s mandatory oral for a week.
Randomize
