One of my residents in my hall just found my positive pregnancy test from last year I hid behind the fridge, I'm just going to tell them it was for a science project.
Just got the American Express annual summary for 2009. The amount of bars we visited last year is impressive.
It's like being the dunk pilot of a plane full of pornstars and drunkenness.
noooo, I woke up on his pack porch and the SUN WAS RISING. I saw red lights everywhere and heard sirens so I just ran for my life.
just walk of shamed past a man riding a bike. RIDING A BIKE. what a wholesome life he must lead.
Sorry I pulled the thermostat off the wall..
Fine then. I'll just do all this coke on my own this weekend and die. It'll be strictly your fault.
Omg 230 lb butch lesbian with a mustache grabbed my dick. I need an adult
You think posting ushers "let it burn" video on his fb page is in bad taste? haha
I can say with 87% certainty that i received one of the world's five greatest blow jobs since the Coolidge administration on Saturday night.
Hey guys guess what I found in my bed this morning? I wish it was a man..but it was a potato
I haven't included my nuts in a shave since the Shaq/kobe Lakers era. I gave my self the ol full court press in order to change the tempo.
New goal find someone I love enough to use these Japanese pancake flavored condoms on
Love waking up to a new contact named “Pizza” btw
Its like Gods punishment for wanting to party
Randomize