I'll just stay a virgin forever then
You still have to go anyway
Then I guess I'll have to start sleeping around
well if you came here i would keep you awake :*
did you just kiss me??? ... dude, im not gay
she broke up with me using backstreet boy lyrics
you deserved it if you knew it was backstreet boys.
I'm wearing the bright blue sombrero all through the airport as a sign of triumph that I survived spring break. I'm getting compliments
You know its a good sign when a girl asks who everyone is AFTER she flashes her tits to the room.
I don't know what you're talking about but its dick galore in the tub. We will be getting poked tonight. Bring forks.
ummm im also counting the $14 dollars I gave the old guy to pay for the cab I called for him to take to the hospital last night as part of ur present.
I didn't realize how drunk I was until my vagina was in the snow.
I woke up wearing a headband made of condoms. It was supposed to be a crown for the "prettiest fag hag" award I won last night. There is lube in my hair. I'm going back to sleep
I was just lying down, dumping goldfish into my mouth and they like all came out I thought I was going to choke and die and people would be like damn that's so sad, she died laying in bed stuffing her face and reading kanye wests twitter, damn.
Best ethics paper a stoner could write. I called my professor Dr. Superfly Arandia. And I'm pretty sure I used "respect the hustle" somewhere in there too.
The only thing left on my Bucket List is getting fingered at an aquarium.
Looks like he unfriended you too. I feel like we were both just handed negative pregnancy tests.
Please tell your sister I apologize about saying her baby may have beef curtains. That was inappropriate.
Lol, maybe a little bit. I don't know. I don't keep a super keen memory log of dicks honestly.
Randomize
