Those former-lesbian gone white-trash bars always seem to be your favorite.
I dreamt I won the Huge Cock Championship last night. It was glorious.
We're not too concerned with getting her out of jail. We're on a mission for donuts.
Shoot me. Guy hitting on me with a beaver on his head. Says it is his spirit animal.
Escorted a stripper to her car last night,and all I got was a "Thanks" and "Go Steelers."
she crawled under her car and passed out. Unfortunately her feet were sticking out and someone called 911 because they thought she had been run over.
quick, send me a pic of a fat chick eating ice cream in a bikini. no joke, no questions, just do it.
I think ur a lot drunker then u think u are. That girl has the body of a cartoon character and not in a good way.
He said he would pay my bar tab if he couldn't answer my question. He lost to the age old question of our youth. Why did pogs go out of style.
Can I send you a picture of my penis? I feel like it looks really good right now and I need someone to share it with
I'm excited I love mornings when I'm not sober
She was totally amazed that i had the pizza delivery timed to coincide with our nooner and that the delivery boy knew where the broom closet on the 3rd floor was.
I think I fucked someone on the flight home last night.
Dennis picked up a 50 year old woman. Then he and Dan got in a fight and jumped out of the limo. No one knows what happened to them.
Either my boss has an enormous dick or he’s hiding a can of tennis balls in his bike shorts
Maybe I will go to the company picnic
Randomize
