is it a bad thing if he can only get off when i start talking like one of the girls from Jersey Shore??
so the time management class we had to take for work seems to be working. I just beat off instead of waiting for gf to get home bc it fit my schedule better.
then he pulled down his pants, and i just stared for about a minute..... i was so confused. i didnt know my cat could have a bigger penis than an 18 year old man.
I'm pretty sure I saw a man standing on a table with no shirt on getting sugar thrown at him while "pour some sugar on me" blaring while the cops were in the house.
Don't say that out loud. People might think I really like to pee on you.
Of course you don't like it. I am the one who likes it.
She narrowed it down to 7 guys that could have gotten her pregnant.
Use motel 8. I'll give you my credit card #. i'll pay for it cuz i care about your vagina.
did we cross streams again? the only thing I remember is seeing a dick
What the fuck am I going to do with a pinata full of tampons?
The last thing I remembered was laying in the bathtub fully clothed with the shower running while he was picking grilled cheese out of my hair. I couldn't figure out if i was more upset about being soaking wet or the fact that my grilled cheese was in my hair instead of my mouth.
And before you knew it they were calling me the pussy usher or something like that
She's barefoot and topless screaming "HERE KITTY-KITTY" at a stray cat in the ditch on the side of the highway. How do I get her back in the car?
totally just stole a 24 pack straight out of the miller truck
Yeah bunch of crazy shit... Makes you wonder how anyone found someone before tinder
Its 8 in the morning and I wouldn't pass a breathalyzer test, How's your day been?
Randomize
