the beds are so narrow its like a jenga threesome
but really, i care about skinny girls as much as michael vick cares about rotweilers
While you were puking in the ocean I was rubbing your back saying "Just give it back to Mother Earth".
Just found a hole in my wall with your left shoe in it.
He called me while he was having sex and asked if I wanted to go get mcdonalds
Btw, whenever you feel discouraged about your life, think about me being frantically upset bc my mobile porn site limited me to only 5 videos a day
Now that we both have boys can we make up games that objectify them as sex toys?
Last night I passed a kidney stone as I came inside her. Worst. Experience. Ever.
I am now being bribed with one orgasm per every meal I eat. This is the best anorexia therapy ever
I don't think he cares about your inhospitable uterus.
Well I passed out before 4:20 on 4/20 so I deem it a failure AND a success.
omg so there's this guy on the roof and he just stripped for no reason and now i think he's making out on the rooftop with some other guy? who are these people
Why can I remember how tall Nicki Minaj is from looking up her height once months ago, yet after weeks into the semester I can't even remember where any my classrooms are located
Importance
Hiding in a kitchen with no pants orange juice abs a pillow...please joun
I haye tequella
I don’t know what he is but he sure can suck a lollipop.
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