I've officially put my junk in foods from 5 of the 6 layers of the nutrition pyramid
No i dont need Magnum Condoms, that would be like putting MC Hammer pants on my dick
she had a concussion and she still scored nine points higher than me on the midterm
let's be real here, you have a beautiful vagina. this kid is a doctors son. that's a remedy for beautiful rich grandkids. he is just trying water his family tree, and make sure he doesn't end up in some piece of shit adult home. go for it.
i think i swapped my keys for drugs last night
Saturday morning. Went into a study room excited b/c some1 had left a paper w/ an inspirational quote: YOU ARE cApable of aChieving anything yoU waNT. Then I read the bold letters.....
Tip of the day: Don't ever send a bootycxall at 3 in aftnoon. No one will respond n u'll just feel fooolish.
Okay so my USC tutor just offered to eat me out. I think I'm definitely applying to USC.
That makes 14 Xmas cards already! Middle aged people are really nice to their dealers.
I am pretty sure I just put SoCo in the bird feeder
Discovery: there is a folder in my pictures labeled "Your Name and cats"
I'm definitely not going to be able to fuck him high. I won't be able to not laugh at his man boobs
...and with one comment dissing Hannibal Lecter, I suddenly understood why we never worked out.
Hey know anyone who wants 58 lbs of whole frozen chickens for a couple bowls?
He was so drunk last night. He woke up out of a dead sleep at 330am, walked over to the dresser, opened his middle drawer and proceeded to pee. When I woke up and asked him Wtf he was doing, he told me it was fake pee and blamed it on the cat...we don't have a cat
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