He introduced her to the DMA meeting by saying: in the past few years i've never seen someone work so hard for so little success
Would you object to my putting the bidet video on my Facebook page? It;s awesome.
I either date the nice guys or the assholes. There isn't any in between.
You need to find a taint.
i wore my purity necklace wen we fucked. but its ok cuz simplified was blasting in the background
hahahaha. im glad listening to simplified justifies breaking ur promise to god
Omg just want to confirm: got drunk, naked in street, fucked in bathroom and puked on bart.
i'd fuck the guy who invented dead baby jokes.
Just tried to put my sweatpants on backwards...the chances of passing my physics exam just went down about 100%.
I walked up to a girl in a bar, and all I was capable of doing was taking my beer and bumping it up to hers. While doing so, all I could say was "Bud Light". She walked away.
So he told me he didn't have a condom, paused, and then said "so, pulling out" and tried to high five me.
He was fucking her while he was wiping my tears.
Sunday is a myth, I refuse to believe that I waste an entire day unable to function after a night of drinking.
He made me hold his dick and say "I solemnly swear that I'm up to no good"
Our relationship is representative of a cognitive bias that leads to bad decision making and misplacement of resources. So should we pick up some whiskey tomorrow?
I have nothing to say for myself. When 2chainz comes on at the bar all bets are off.
I am a 5'4" ball of sexual frustration and vodka. It is that kind of night.
Randomize
