Whod you bang
I swear she didn't look like that last week.
Every time a guy reaches down to touch my vag, i feel really sorry for all the transgender girls who still have a penis there.
That's weird cause every time i feel a girls vag i feel way worse for all the guys who reached down there and got a penis.
we're out of white wine, toilet paper and windex... too hard to explain via text
apparently i traded the tiffany necklace my mom bought me for 2 shots and next in line for beer pong at the frat.
it never fails, everytime he manages to fuck my earrings out of my ears.
did you dip my ponytail in franzia? its the only thing i can think of to explain my hair right now.
think they'd let him outta jail for my wedding? we could have him back by like midnight....
Holy. Fuck. This mans mouth is magical. I love married men. I don't have to teach them.
You wanna get laid? Be a female for once and stop bending nails to impress guys.
Do I lose at life if I cry in a grocery store while buying a pregnancy test?
and if planning a fake elopement keeps me from fucking strangers and doing drugs, i think it's good for me
That's okay I'm failing college because I'm to busy giving over the pant handjobs in class..
So far 2 of my professors caught me looking at their dicks
were you aware we were supposed to be taking care of her hamster this weekend?
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