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ok, stay where you are, be there soon
I'm glad you talked me out of that flying penis tattoo.
Just saw a guy from Kansas and a guy from Nebraska arguing over who had less of an accent. God Bless the Midwest.
Is it sad that I woke up to more "Happy Holidays" texts on 4/20 than I did on Christmas?
did i mention he attempted to milk her in backseat?
dude what did you give her she's eating her pocket lint
Just saw someone tackle someone else to the ground for their coors light; he's not getting back up.
Yea, now that Irene is hitting us stores aren't selling any alcohol; beer is now a precious commodity.
you don't know true fear until you are a convinced that velociraptors are trying to kill you through your roof.
Dude, I had to stop mid fuck. Her cat was swatting at my balls as I did her from behind. I couldve lost something.
i dont remember how or why, but i now have 3 coupons for a free BJ from Anise stapled to my right arm.
I'm hurting so bad I actially had to wait for my mini wheats to get soggy before I could eat them..
I took did three shots of fireball and did and handstand. When I stood up some busty slut lead me my the hand down the hall into her dorm room.
But I'm sure your having and "a monumentally better time" repeating the 12th grade
Could we try to replay the decision making process whereby only you and I bought and drank a keg this weekend? Because there were some fundamental flaws!
My google history for last night included "Whre is johns house" and "wher can i buy nukes?" Pretty sure they're related to one another.
I'm going to get drunk, come back, call my grandma, and eat all those scrambled eggs.
Randomize