i just shit an entire soup salad and breadsticks from the olive garden... bud light wins again.
i just recognized the girl sitting across from me from a lesbian porno... should i ask for an autograph?
The cab driver referred to me as his little gumdrop, im sure he won't feel the same when he sees the vomit all over his floor.
I'm sneaking you alcohol into a hospital. This either says love or "we have a problem"
Seriously, come get him. He's not even a person anymore. He's a loud, drunk, cock-blocking wrecking ball.
I just pulled a piece of cookie out of my bra in the middle of class. I'm forever alone.
it was like vegas minus all of the penis and death threats
His wife made me pancakes and let me borrow a clean shirt. Should I drop his class or use this to my advantage
If I'm going to start compromising my butthole it's going to be for much better drugs than a ventolin
Sidenote: do you recall your "give me the d" chant
My synapses wont fire in a pattern that will process those facts
So doing the math I dated almost 2 of me in penises. Like, if I you layed them out lengthwise it would be 2 times my height.
she is like a cock bee. instead of going from flower to flower she goes from cock to cock
Wait, cocaine is okay but tanning isn't?
Ya can’t just go throwing accusations around about someone pooping their pants without some hard evidence
Randomize