I'm about two and a half drinks away from gay.
I'm coming over.
I finally beat you i just fucked my professor last night!!!\n\n
sry, psychiatrist trumps professor
i should do something illegal before my birthday. as of thursday im old enough to go to jail.
I have got to stop making out with redheads. I need to sign my life over to my dad like Britney Spears.
I could probably do something when Im able to get enough strength to think about thinking about to stand.
The sign say "Kereoke" strip bar. 5 more beers and ill be ready to rumble.
he told me while inside me and mid thrust that he's dreamed of that moment since high school... awkward
i made up my own drinking game and i took a secret shot every time someone asked me about school or my future
.......The other day I peed on him in the shower....he was trying to touch my boobs and I wanted my space.
So is there a reason your dad is passed out naked in my shower? P.S. Congrats on the family dong.
I didn't get it..
I'm sorry. But to the original question please.
I had the hottest doctor assess me at the hospital. He smelled like heaven and sex.
Fun fact: My predictive text now prompts "walrus" as the most likely word to follow "intoxicated"...
WE JUST PASSED A FUCKING SPACE SHIP! NOT JOKING! A REAL FUCKING SPACE SHIP! THIS IS NOT THE DRUGS! SPACE! SHIP!
He was gone when I woke up. But he left skid marks on my sheets and our unopened bottle of Titos is missing
New Rule: No more sleepovers with guys we met on Reddit
It's official, I'm not staying in tonight
What caused that decision?
You only live once
Randomize
