Dude, my boy c***** and I hooked up with Asian sisters last night in the same room
Then I put on blue by Eiffel 65 and security showed up and yelled at us for being too loud. Also, they stopped fucking because no one can fuck to eiffel 65
the red head has a bf
just because there's a goalie doesn't mean u can't score
he gets drunk and then tries to eat the lasers at the dance club
He showed up drunk to my cousions HS grad party, we stayed at the bars till 2, then he got up at 5 to run a half marathon and by the time I woke up wlhe was already back and drinking.
I'm on a no morals kick. That'll be 3 girls in 24 hours....ending 2011 with a bang
Can I tell him I got herpes from your bong instead of from that guy who claimed to be an olympic diver?
Just for future reference, me asking if you're free, followed by a winking face is not my way of suggesting a tandem bike ride.
Note to self: do not ride giant beanbag chair down stairs.
Listen I just pulled white girl hair out of my underwear. This has got to stop. I was wearing pants all night.
Why is there no Netflix category for "I just wanna cry, but I don't have time for a whole romcom"?
She's asleep in a fisher-price toy car
I'm going to ride your dick until it falls off. That horny.
I'm equal parts terrified and turned on. Come over.
You think that was bad? One time my parents found my sister half naked on top of the four runner in the garage. She makes me look like the good child.
He paid for a 5 star hotel suite and I raided the mini bar after he left. I think that’s bad karma. Want some pringles?
I seriously just rolled a joint on my high school diploma. I feel like I've come so far.
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