Awkward medical moment of the day: A very obese girl with a disorder that literally makes her hit herself punched herself in the face. Literally. While screaming 'MCDONALDS MONEY'. Right. Beside. Me.
I didn't join FB to see my only child straddle that boy in all her pictures.
i got excepted to unl lol
You mean "accepted".
You kept spitting the skittles out cause you said they tasted like "balls of sandpaper"
Just before going down on me she said, "I need a hairband for all of the jobs I'm about to perform."
was this before of after we tobbganned into that tree?
It's end St Patricks day. I'm gonna need a leash. And a bib. And a rain check on anything considered dignifying.
You were sitting on the filthy kitchen floor eating a packet of grated cheese, and you were crying because you couldn't find any cheese.. I'd say our party was a success.
Please come over, I'm slowly melting into a ball of sexual frustration. If I'm not dead by the end of the day be very surprised.
If it makes you feel any better... I have a friend who found out her mom was in the video for 2 Live Crew's "Pop That Pussy"
That girl definitely just ate a hot dog and stared straight in to my eyes.
I knew my bag made it because I could smell the fireball that spilled inside of my suitcase before it was on the luggage carousel.
I'm so hungover I just peed on my hand and left it, didn't wash... Killin it in 2915
We were looking everywhere for you and I finally found you in the closet talking to a build a bear.. So I gave you and myself another drink
Can't be considered a walk of shame if you pick up donuts on the way home
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