if i die, you can have my worn out liver and american apparel deep v's.sell the liver to a chinese restaurant
She's hot and she went to Notre Dame. I want to fuck the Catholic right out of her
i miss you and i wish you were peeing between my legs right now. in a platonic way
There's a vagina buried somewhere in there.
I gave you a 45 minute blowjob. You were inside me for 3 minutes. I'm going to need you to get your shit together.
I was rolling balls and tried to donate blood as an act of kindness to the sick person who would receive it
Fried chicken is a must. Do strippers eat fried chicken or should I plan on something else?
Is "when in doubt date the guy with the bigger dick" a good philosophy?
Face washed and sleeping pill taken. Here's hoping for a more sex filled tomorrow.
Yeah! Don't let me leave the house without marijuana and a juicer.
Did I really just send a work email with cum instead of come? feck me
2 weeks into this dating someone with money thing and I already don't know if I can go back to the being poor life
Opening my shipments of mascara and nipple pasties this morning like a boss bitch
I am real keen for none of this to be taken out of context so let’s just shut it down right now
I deserve a medal for being woke up at 6am on my day off by your mother asking where your brother is
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