not only did i climb through the window at 4 am but here i am 4 hours later for my interview at the mall and i'm staring in the dark pet store barking at puppies
I wish real life had facebook tags so i could figure out who all these people are
he just told me he'd rather go to the pirates game. i know it was desperate but i said id give him roadhead if he let me come along.
i feel like words won't express my appreciation properly so at some point i'm just going to bring you pizza then go down on you for an hour. fair?
Of course I'm hard in the pics. If there's a chance that these pictures will cause a scandal later in my life I at least want my dick to look it's biggest
Never backflip into an above ground pool. I think the gash will be smaller by Monday though.
So when I eventually, if ever, find someone I'd like to marry, do you think having people fly to africa for a lion king themed wedding is too much?
It's a fucking menopause festival down here at the strike zone
although steph and I had 3 bottles of wine by that point and watched an opera that featured a black dildo so anything was possible really
Jesus, you make out with one twin then sleep with the other and suddenly they don't want to play soccer with you... Men can be so sensitive...
Also bring a pizza or no entry to my vagina OR the fort.
Cheese only
Sometimes i think i need to stop drinking because i can't afford losing so many panties anymore
But for real though. That weed tastes like the jolly laughter of Santa Claus.
Like he was trying to be sexy but he had shit taste in porn so i left
I just opened my travel toothbrush holder and it smelled like vodka...maybe a vodka cranberry. This says a lot about my vacations.
Randomize
