if you like me you must not know who I am
You're never going to guess who I just worked out next to..
Who?
Chris brown
No way... I bet he was intense
Are you kidding? He was prob training for round two
Ducking stuck downtown...all the fuxkig roads are blixkded
It was the single greastest thing to happen to my dick ever
Smoked a bowl on a rollercoaster. Literally ON. Beat that.
You said I was the most beatiful preggers youve ever seen...im not pregnant
Is it bad that I stopped wanting to fuck her as soon as I noticed she had dry skin?
I sometimes completely doubt that you're straight.
Yo, if someone calls you asking for John Stamos, just go with it.
Her name is Sherri and her sister's are Brandy and Champagne. Of course I want to meet her parents.
Any idea who the guy in my bed tagged as rattlesnake dick might be?
Well I let her practice her tattooing on me. This shaky dragon on my arm says Im getting laid.
I've just informed her that you've voted her Chief-Adult-In-Charge-Of-Shit and that she will take the oath of office on Fri Dec 14th at 8 pm with her hand on a bottle of Jager.
He said the first movie he ever jerked off to was Titanic because he knew "they were totally doing it in that car."
Master Skywalker, there are too many of them. What am I going to do?
Hit on the one in the red shorts. The thirst is strong with this one.
I'm sitting here with a band aid on my labia, this is a first
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